Of all the boredom-fighting antibodies I have personally tested, The Secret History is the strongest; it obliterates even the most resilient strains of ennui within minutes. I’ve given it to boyfriends for long flights and family members on bad vacations. It’s algorithmically entertaining, like if Dr. Luke wrote a novel. Some hashtags include: Bacchus frenzy, drugs, incest, cable knit sweaters, murder. It’s a pretty solid bet for anyone seduced by dead languages or charismatic scholars.